My Contribution To the Universal Lack
It’s yet another Sunday. But, for once, I’m not at the tuitions, trying to crunch shrapnel-like hard numbers, straight out of bomb-like sums, thrown at me by my teacher. I’m sitting at home, cloaked in a rare comfort of not being wary of every passing moment-not studying, enjoying a cup of coffee with some great music playing in the background, as the heavens pour out their hearts on the land of us mortals. And the best part is I’m getting to express my happiness. But there’s still something missing. No, the coffee doesn’t lack sugar and the speakers are alright, playing the music perfectly (hope you can guess what I’m talking ‘bout.) But, it’s still okay, I guess, (though, in the strictest sense, I ain’t feeling 100% okay), ‘coz I’m living like this, still waiting.
I’ve waited long enough for things, that in my heart, I’ve known to be in vain. And, I’m still waiting, though this time I don’t even know whether I want to wait or just leave. Now, there’s this new dimension of confusion in my transaction of emotions in the wait.
But, this is at the personal level and I’m not gonna trouble you with my personal life crap. Yeh, I ain’t gonna shit you (no one can actually shit whole human beings, not even the cannibals, I think, ‘coz they would be very much in pieces, after being masticated and stuff). On the other hand, I’m gonna bore you to death, in another of my ‘looking at the bigger picture’ essay. So, here I go.
Today, in yet another demented analysis, I’m going to look at the bigger picture of the universal lack. We all have an inherent lack that starts from the moment the first cut is made in our lives i.e. physiologically speaking, a being is separated from his/her mother with the snapping of the ‘membrane of nutrition-transmission’ (can’t remember the name). The question may arise, as to what of the test-tube babies (in-vitro fertilization cases)? Well, I think as there is an even bigger degree of separation out here, the lack is very much here too. Infact, this is only a symbolization of the beginning of the lack, in analogy to the big-bang, the start of the universal lack. All through life we go on doing things to address this lack. If we probably examine our lives more carefully, we will notice that everything that we do is to fill up this lack, which probably and paradoxically, largens the lack (of knowledge, & contributing to the ‘wholesome’ lack) as we delude ourselves that it is possible to fill up this lack. Infact, through this growth of the lack we are contributing to the lack of the universe as a whole. Okay, I guess this ‘lack of the universe’ needs a bit of an introduction.
We all know that the universe has arisen out of an unthinkably minuscule point in an event referred to as the big-bang. I’ve previously attributed to this event the distinction of being the beginning of the universal lack. Well, this is how it is the case. The point that which gave rise to the universe, was really small, supposedly smaller than the smallest particles that modern science has been able to discover until now and it wasn’t empty like the molecules and atoms, only 1% of which is occupied by solid particles, but was dense and packed with matter. Now, it really seems fascinating as to how dense it was when we consider that all the matter, the energy-everything within the universe came from that single point. And that same minuscule point has taken such large shape today that we can clearly look at what great a lack we are living in today, notwithstanding the great amount of matter might have been packed in it. Actually, we are so much used to the lack that we can’t even imagine how that great amount of matter was packed into that point.
I’ll digress a bit from the ‘universe & lack’ thing to augment my argument. Even the sciences devised by human minds is constructed on such foundation of profound lack that even it is inadequate in dealing with the condition of an absence of lack, proved by the fact that our calculations of time, Newtonian Physics-all go haywire on approaching the big-bang. To eliminate this problem, scientists are trying to develop a new science, Quantum Physics, as a science of possibilities to look into matters that are unexplainable by the tools of scientific analysis that we have today. But, how much it will be efficient in answering the questions that mankind face, remains to be seen. But, doesn’t looking at it as a tool for answering our questions again increase our lack by deluding ourselves that we can really fill in the blanks of our lack.
Now, getting back to the universe, we know the universe has expanded into its current enormity from that point we’ve talked about, and the more important thing is that it’s still growing at a constant pace, proving very much that all the devices that we are trying to devise to answer the question of lack and hence fill up our lack aren’t at all working, but just contributing to the growth of the universe and hence the lack, which was not present at all in the first ‘point’. The lack is kinda like entropy, that isn’t initially present, but on emergence increases without an end. And, as the lack wasn’t present in the ‘point’, it can be safely concluded that it is infact we, who are contributing to the lack through our delusion that we can do away with it.
But, another question that arises is- does the lack of a certain individual just vanish into nothingness when he dies, or does it stay on. For this, let us look into another event-the formation of the black holes. Black holes are minuscule ‘points’ (there you go, point again) of gravity gone mad, which pull into themselves everything that pass by them, not leaving something even as fast as light, sometimes causing cataclysmic events of a star being completely ripped apart and eaten by a black-hole, million times smaller than the star it feeds upon. And, the surprising thing and the thing to take note of, is the formation of a black-hole. Black-holes are formed when stars explode into ‘death’, whereby the heavy star-stuff, instead of being blown outwards, collapses inwards. Think millions upon millions of heavy stuff collapsing inwards until it all contracts into a microscopic point, and you have a heavy and powerful black hole. So, there you go- a heavy, lack-less tiny ‘point’(very much like our point before the big-bang) that emerges out of a death of something as massive as a star, and anything that goes near it, is certainly just eaten into nothingness. Now, coming back to our own planet, the question arises- does the same thing happen with us humans? Do we ‘die out-of-lack’? I don’t know, but probably someone will someday know which will fill the lack and probably stop the growth of the universe and hence, stop the ever growing lack? But, even if that happens, will not there be a massive explosion that will destroy everything and lead to a contraction of all universal matter to that state of ‘point’ed, minuscule existence? Is this lack essential for our existence? Is it of ultimate necessity of us to search for the answers and think that we can actually get them, to continue to live? Or, is this even a greater trap of want (and, hence lack) of ‘immortality’?
I pose these questions to the reader and contribute my part, consciously, to this ever-growing universal lack.
If you’re bored to death, please come back to haunt me and tell me that this piece of writing killed you. Believe you me, I’ll really appreciate this detour on your tour to hell. However, in the rare event that you don’t die, then you’re invited by ‘Your Dementedness’ (in short, me) to join the demented circle (be my friend, yaar).
Thank You.
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